Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
