You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
