omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
