Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
