How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
