By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
