so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
