Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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