Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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