note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He felt like a one man threesome
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
