Are we in a gay sports bar?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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