Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
