I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize