so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
