you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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