i was rollin on her like bob the builder
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
