It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I party with great urgency now.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize