I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
