HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
