At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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