I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
