Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize