have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
