As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
