When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
