i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
