thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
