i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I smell like Dick and happiness
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
