uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
operation have a gay friend backfired
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
