I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
