i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
