Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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