are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
