Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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