Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
