Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize