Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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