I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
