just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
