Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
