sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Randomize
