Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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