This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
