At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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