rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
