We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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