i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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