We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
