Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
