There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
