So drunk, too bad you don't want this
4 words: hood of his car
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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