Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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