i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
