No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
