i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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