HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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