You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
