If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I didn't notice because vodka
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
