no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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