I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
