I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We had to coat check the pizza.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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