Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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